Life Update!

 What's been going on?

    Let me start off by apologizing for the lack of posting I have had a lot going on in my life and realize that I am only starting to get busier. Some of you may ask "What's been keeping me so busy?" That's a good question and I'm glad you asked. I'm going to have to back up a couple months for you to understand what changed in my life to create a plefera of responsibilities and opportunities. 

    I think that November and the completion of my therapy program is a good place to start. After I went back to work full time I wanted to make changes to the way things are handled within my organization when it comes to mental health. I tried for three weeks to start a program where people could get together share their personal, or professional stories and be able to learn, grow, and find inspiration from each other. I felt as though I was put on the back burner and wasn't being listened too. Although things weren't moving as fast as I would have liked I remained positive, positive thoughts lead to positive opportunities. Well that was exactly what happened, in a way that felt like fate I was given the opportunity to pitch my ideas and share my story with base leaders. I felt as though they were very receptive of my story and thanked me for sharing, I left multiple people in tears, that's how I knew that my story had gotten through.

What's Next?

    After I had shared my story I was approached with different opportunities to continue to share my story in hopes to get through to as many people as I can. For example I have a speaking opportunity on the 25th and also another one lined up off base in February. On top of the speaking opportunities I get to teach Reslince in March to Airmen who just arrived at the base. If that's not enough I am also furthering my education in February and April. February I am taking three courses working towards my Associates of Arts and in April the Air Force is sending me to a different base to become a Master Resilency Trainer. I am taking the time to capture every opportunity that I can think of. I am a truly blessed individual and am so grateful for all the support and love that I received from all of you on this wonderful journey.

Next Blog, No promises! 

    I'm not going to make a promise and leave you expecting a new blog. I felt the need to write today so that is why I'm writing. I will promise to keep you updated on how everything ends up and of any new opportunities that may arise! Remember what I said earlier, "Positive thoughts, lead to positive opportunities." You all have the power to REDIRECT your path in life, REDEEM your power, and REDEFINE your future! I love you all so so much. Until Next Time ❤✌

Your Negative Core Beliefs are Holding you Back!

 What Are Negative Core Beliefs? 

    Negative core beliefs are defined as "judgemental and potentially harmful beliefs held about yourself, others, or the world." This type of belief has the ability to bring us into a negative mindset always expecting the worst out of any situation. Some examples of this type of thinking are "I am worthless, I am unloveable, or people can't be trusted." When we think this way we are only allowing ourselves to see the negative, which in return causes our thoughts to be mainly negative. If you feel like this is relatable to you then you are in the right place. I am going to share with you how I was able to overcome and escape my own negative core beliefs.

My Negative Core Belief!

    Before I tell you how to overcome your own core beliefs I need to share with the negative core beliefs that I had about myself. Whenever it came to trying to accomplish something I would always procrastinate it didn't matter if the task was something as simple as laundry, or something more complex like studying. I would always put it off, and I wouldn't give myself any sympathy for not doing it. I would always fill my head with negative thoughts calling myself lazy, or worthless. LIttle did I know that my mental health was actually battling an illness called depression. When we suffer from depression you tend to mistake your lack of motivation as laziness, if we knew that it was from the depression you could start practicing, opposite action. Your brain wants to stay in the places where it's comfortable and when you have been depressed for a long time your brain becomes comfortable being depressed. So the question that's left to be answered is, how do we stop being comfortable being depressed?

Stop Being Comfortable Being Depressed!

    The key to overcoming these negative core beliefs is by practicing, opposite action and radical acceptance. Like I said in the previous paragraph the way you overcome your negative habits is by utilizing the opposite action. When our brain wants to tell us not to do something that we know would help us we have to realize that it is our brain trying to get us to stay in the "comfortable state of depression." Once we have this understanding we can press forward with doing the things that we know would help our mood like working out, reading, studying, or meditation. I know I've said this in a previous post and my youtube, we have to NIKE THAT SHIT, that means just do it before you convince yourself not to. The other half of the things you have to do to overcome negative core beliefs, radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is not only the key ingredient for overcoming negative core beliefs, but it is essential for our happiness.  The reason that it is so important is by accepting things that have already happened you will finally have the capability to forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself you start to have understanding with yourself, and can start changing those thoughts from negative to positive.

Next Blog Wednesday, November 9th!

    I apologize for the delay in releasing a new blog! I have been focused on getting my YouTube Channel started. If you have not done so yet go follow me on instagram Chris.lawton4 and click the link in my bio to subscribe to my youtube. I love you guys so so much, and remember positive thoughts will lead to positive results! Until Next time ✌❤

Sunday Fun Day!

My Creative Hobby!

    Today's blog is going to be all about how I feel when I write and suggestions of hobbies that may cause you to have the same feelings. When I write, whether it's for my blog, or my book I always find great joy from writing and expressing my feelings. There is something therapeutic about writing that makes me feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and gets the butterflies swimming in my stomach. When I become engulfed in a creative mindset everything just comes natural to me. I don't over think what I'm writing about, so you know the material I post about is genuine. Writing is my creative hobbies that helps me express my emotions in a healthy way my suggestion to you is to find a hobby that helps you express your feelings and utilizing it when you're your emotions become overwhelming.

Examples of Creative Hobbies!

    Creative hobbies are important because they help us feel like kids again. Whatever hobby you choose to do should be able to come effortlessly at some point. When your hobby doesn't require much thought it helps you create from your emotions. Creations that come from your emotions instead of overthinking have the tendency of being the most beautiful pieces of work. A few examples of creative hobbies include writing, poetry, song artists, painting, sculpting, and you could argue body building (sculpting the body). Find a hobby you love and let your creative spirit shine!

    Sunday Poem!

What is Heaven people ask. 

I believe heaven to be something that brings people peace.

There's no guarantee just like Keanu Reeves said.

The only thing that is certain is that the people that love us will miss us.

Boy is that true. Suffering a loss to someone that you're close to will break you down.

Life will beat you up and push you around if you let it.

But don't let it. 

You have to realize you decide your path.

You don't have control of the problem only your response to that problem is in your control.

So please do not fold. It's time to be bold.

You have to vision what you want your life to be and how you want to be remembered.

You have to stay centered. 

Like the apple that blossoms on the tree, remain connected.

You'll feel protected by the love given.

There are many things that are beautiful. 

Some will say what comes after life is much more fruitful.

Don't get too focused on what comes next.

Always remember to send what I love you text.

Life is too short to be wasting time worrying about what happens when you die.

I'll ask again what is heaven?

The answer doesn't matter if you live life enjoying every second.

Next Blog Wednesday October 12th.

    Thank you guys for reading todays blog! I always enjoy writing and sharing my poems with you all! I hope you all have a blessed and great day. I love each and everyone of you. Until next time ✌❤

It's Okay to Take a Break!

 Don't Forget to Breathe!

    We all have busy schedules, work, kids, family, friends, hobbies, and whatever else you want to add to this list. The one thing that we sometimes forget to do is take a break and rest our mind. I'm writing this blog to remind you that it's okay to take a day and sit in your house reading books, playing video games, or watching your favorite show. Rest is essential to having a healthy mindset especially if you have a busy schedule. When we forget to give ourselves a mental health day we start to fatigue a lot easier and the simple tasks become a lot harder to accomplish. If you feel this sounds like you then I recommend you take a step back and R E L A X (famous Aaron Rodgers quote.)

My Mental Health Days!

    My mental health days usually begin with a very long and very hot shower. After I get all cleaned up and dressed for the day I make a pot of coffee and read a little bit of a book, I love reading personal development books to help strengthen my mindset and it usually puts me in a great mood to start the day. After my morning coffee and a quick reading session I love watching a show on the couch with my golden doodle Gatsby. Gatsby is the type of dog that loves all of the attention, but what dog doesn't. He will throw his entire body on my chest suffocating me and blocking my view from any t.v. show that I wanted to watch, which is The Boys on amazon prime at the moment (great show I highly recommend it by the way, fair warning though it is very gory). Finally I love to play video games before I go to bed on my mental health days, I usually play Madden and Warzone, but I'm currently waiting for MW2 to be released in November. These mental health days give my brain a chance to reset and come back the next day more energized than ever!

Poem (cause I forgot to post on Sunday)

Success

All dreams will start small.

Some will fail and some will fall.

There is a key to success.

No, It's not to be better than the rest.

You have to be better today.

Than you were yesteday.

The competition is with yourself.

Not with anyone else.

Don't listen to outside noise.

Stay calm, keep your poise.

Some will tell you, you will fail.

Let them talk and continue to sail.

Chase those dreams.

Only you can change your theme.

Doubts will come.

Remind yourself you are not among the some.

You are different.

Leave them with your imprint.

Tell everyone your story.

Let them see your glory.

Teach people how you made it out.

Let the keyboards build your clout.

Success is not about things.

Next Blog Sunday October 9th

    Thank you guys for reading tonight's blog! I'm sorry that I was a day late on my upload my days have been blending together lately from being so busy. I am currently in the process of scheduling a day to go to the boys and girls club to speak about recycling your pain. I am so excited about this opportunity. I will make a blog post on how everything went after. Leave a comment and tell me what your ideal mental health day is. Again, I am so grateful for all of your love and support it keeps me motivated to continue to post about ways that could help take your life to the next level. Until Next time ✌❤

My Journey To Sobriety!

 My First Time Being Drunk

    

    In my first ever blog post I wrote about the grain bin accident I was involved in. The trauma I experienced at a young age was the same reason I started drinking at a young age. The first time I ever got drunk happened just a few months after the accident when I was only 14 years old. When I snuck out of my house that night I didn't realise that I was about to go drown the pain that I was hiding inside and by doing this it would result in an on and off again battle with alcohol for the next 12 years. Every chance I had, which weren't many at 14, I would drink as much as I could until I blacked out. I would do this every time I drank, because it was the only time I wouldn't have those negative thoughts creep in the back of my head, why did I survive, you don't deserve to be alive, I wish that killing myself would bring back those who died. If we all knew the consequences of our actions would we still make decisions that cause nothing but negative emotions? I wish I would have thought of my consequences prior to ever picking up my first drink it would have saved me from a lot of heartache.

I Cheated Death, but Still Chose Death.

    Let's fast forward past high school where all I did was quit every team I was on and ruin my chances for a scholarship to any possible college that was available. I want to start this part of the post where alcohol almost took my life and career away from me. After a year of bouncing between jobs after high school I chose to join the United States Air Force, still the greatest decision I have ever made for my future. I was only in the Air Force for 6 months when I encountered my first ever serious consequence from alcohol and my second encounter with death. My first duty station was Ramstein Germany, which at the time was perfect for me because you only had to be 18 to drink at the bars. I would go out every weekend to dorm parties and continue my routine of drinking until I blacked out. At this time those negative thoughts were buried so deep that I didn't think about them, but subconsciously they were very much alive. Most nights I went out and it ended with me crying and my friends having to chase me around the base so I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself until the night that I hurt myself. Now I don't remember much about this night the only thing that I can tell you for sure is I went to a night club with a bunch of people I didn't really know and had a BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) of .3 something, a BAC of .4 can put someone in a coma, or kill them. The only thing I remember is waking up in a military hospital 3 days later not knowing how I got there. That means I went to a german hospital and was transported to a military hospital 2 days later before I woke up. It turns out that I had fallen off a parking garage and landed face first on the pavement, suffering a fractured skull, and a shattered cheek bone. They had to do surgery to put a plate in my face so my bones could heal properly. Even through all this and being directed by my commander to go through an alcohol abuse program I still chose to drink after. My decision to continue drinking would keep leading me down dark paths keeping those demons in control of my life.

Second Time Through

    In 2017 I PCS'd from Germany and found my way to South Carolina. This is when I moved in with my now fiance and her son, they didn't know what they were signing up for, but I am very grateful that she had the patience to stay with me. Babe I love you thank you for everything. The person I was then is not who I wanted to be, I hated that version of myself. I would drink, again until I blacked out, then would cuss her out while her son was sleeping. We would fight almost every night that I drank, I know I would have left me too, but very grateful that she stuck around. After a few years of ups and downs in our relationship I thought I finally had my drinking under control. Turns out I had no power when it came to alcohol. A couple years later we would have our son, but I was still depressed and since I'm an expert at burying my emotions I wouldn't talk about my problems. Whenever I would get home I turned to the only thing that I thought was consistent in my life, yupp that's right alcohol. This would go on for months until I was tasked to deploy, when I deployed I made a promise to my fiance that I wouldn't drink again. I went 6 months without a drink on the deployment and another 3 months sober when I got back, until I was reunited with alcohol. That's right I broke 9 months of sobriety because I thought that I could "control it this time." This comes as a surprise to no one, but I was wrong again.

Final Round, Now I Fight!

    I went the next few years doing a good job controlling my drinking, I was drinking everyday, but at least I wasn't blacking out. This was until I lost my dad. Losing my dad hit me harder than I was prepared for, I went months trying to bury it until I went out with my coworkers and told all of them the plan I had to shoot myself. I never thought of shooting myself before, but subconsciously I think that was always the plan. Thankfully my coworkers made a plan to have someone drive me home and take my gun out of the house. As embarrassing as it was to have to be treated like a child, I am eternally grateful for my friends that were and are currently there for me when I need them. This is where we are today I just completed an in depth substance abuse program and am currently 42 days sober, until tomorrow where I'll be 43 days sober.

What's Different This time?

    The biggest difference this time around is I went to therapy to deal with my underlying issues that were causing me to drink. The demons that were causing all those negative emotions have finally been sent back to hell where they belong instead of living inside my mind. I no longer feel any cravings or experience any triggers to drink because I have learned to master my mindset. Most of my blogs stress the importance of becoming a master of your mind and my story is a prime example of how powerful the mind is. I owe all my progress to the Air Force, my friends, family, and therapists they hold me accountable and keep me motivated to be better today than I was yesterday. I also want to thank my therapists for helping me find my purpose in life. The purpose that I want to live out everyday is helping others I do this by writing my blogs, and creating videos on youtube. I feel so much warmth and love knowing that my word can help someone escape their demons.

Next Blog, Wednesday, October 5th

    Thank you to everyone that took the time to read my blog today, I appreciate each and everyone of you. Have you ever struggled with substance abuse? How did you beat it, or what are you doing to beat it? Leave me a comment if you found some type of inspiration in this blog. I always enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts with all of you. I love you all. Until Next time ✌❤

LEARN TO ACCEPT ALL SITUATIONS, NO MATTER WHAT!

 Acceptance is Key!

    Good Evening my beautiful people! The majority of us focus our attention on things that we have no control of. For example people will spend the time worrying about if it is going to snow tomorrow, or not. This is an example of a hypothetical worry, unless you can make a phone call to mother nature and tell her not to snow, we cannot make an impact on the outcome of what the weather brings. The only thing that we can control is accepting that the weather will do what it wants, especially if you live in the midwest, and how we react to it is also our choice. This goes for all situations in life, things will happen even if you don't want them to. The only thing you can do is accept the situation, even if you don't like the outcome, and determine what your reaction is going to be. Accepting situations no matter how you feel about the end result can be defined as radical acceptance. Once you master the skill of radical acceptance it will be a lot harder for outside situations to determine your emotions. Take a minute and think about a time that you should have, or have practiced radical acceptance and feel free to share it with me if you want to by commenting below, or sending me a message on one of my other accounts.

How Should You React?

    For most of us our reaction to things depends on how they make us feel and not based on logic or reason. These type of reactions can be very dangerous and unpredictable. In most cases when we react to emotions alone we have little to no control of our behavior. We don't give our brain time to process the situation and question what consequences our actions can bring. My suggestion is that no matter what happens in life we should always give ourselves at least 5 seconds to give a response. During these 5 seconds remember that no matter what you choose to do it will not change the outcome of what has happened. Also remind yourself that your uncontrolled behavior could lead to more negative feelings and situations down the road. For example if a driver cuts you off, you could choose to instigate a fight with that person, or you can radically accept the situation and understand no matter how you react you cannot change what has already happened. If you choose the first option it could lead to legal issues especially if you and the driver get into a physical altercation at the next red light. Whatever decision we make based on the situation determines our feelings and consequences in the future, but what it does not do, nor will it ever do is change the past. Take those five seconds and give a thought out and logically response no matter how the situation makes you feel.

Acceptance = Mental Freedom

    The most important thing I want you to take from today's blog is that when you practice radical acceptance you gain your power back from your feelings and gain more control of your mind. If we all can learn to accept the things that we cannot change we gain power over the decisions we make throughout our life. This is one of the most important tools that we have to battle our negative mindset, when all we see is negative then it results in negative emotions like depression, anxiety, shame, and so many more. Once you gain the power of your mind you begin to have what I like to call mental freedom. We will no longer let the little things bother us and will have full control over how we react. I challenge you to think of a situation where you reacted based on emotions, and ask yourself things would have been different if you took the time to analyze your decision before committing to your reaction.

Next Blog Sunday October 2nd!

    Thank you to everyone that read my blog and if you enjoyed today's content please leave a comment on what you enjoyed the most! Don't let someone's opinion, or a situation outside of your control dictate your mood. It's time that we all started to take our power back from our emotions and gain control of our mind. I loved writing today's blog because it is something that I used to struggle with on a consistent basis. As always feedback is appreciated, and I love you all! Until Next time ✌❤

Irrational Thoughts Have No Purpose!

 What is an Irrational Thought?

    Irrational thoughts can dictate our feelings if we let them. When we hear someone else speaking irrationally it is easy to identify their irrational thoughts, but why can't we identify and put a stop to our own irrational thoughts? Before we dive into how we can stop those thoughts from affecting our mood, or behavior we have to understand the definition of what an irrational thought is. Irrational thoughts can be identified as "something that is not based on reason, or logic" which basically means that these thoughts have absolutely no truth to them. Some of you might be saying "I wouldn't worry about thoughts if they didn't have any truth to them." I use to be one of those individuals that believed I couldn't possibly worry about something that didn't exist until I did some self reflecting on things that I would let affect my mood. For example I would let my thoughts of the future increase my anxiety which in return would dictate what I would do the rest of the day. I let thoughts of something that hasn't happened yet take my power and motivation away for that day, week, or month. After my self reflection I was able to see how often I let things that didn't exist control my life. If you are struggling with the same problem that I was then you need to read the next paragraph to get some of the tips and tricks that I used to overcome my mind.

Challenge Your Irrational Thoughts!

    We need to be willing to challenge our negative thoughts that dictate our lives. We can do this by following the steps below.

•         Identify the Situation: 
• The key to this step is by sticking with facts, you have to identify what has generated your strong negative emotions. Ask questions like where, when, who, and what?  
•        Identify the Moods:
• List all moods that were felt from the situation. Include positive and negative emotions.
•        Identify Automatic Thoughts: 
• When remembering the situation identify any thoughts that you have. list the one that is connected to the emotions felt.
•        Gather Evidence:
• list all evidence that goes for and against your negative emotion.
•        Find a balanced Thought:
• After you finish the above steps find a realistic outcome and decide whether or not there is anything you can do for this negative emotion.

       If you come the decision that nothing can be done to solve this action do something positive to distract your mind, read a book, play video games, watch a youtube video, whatever you it is that brings you a sense of enjoyment and move on with your day. If there is something you can do to change your mood NIKE THAT SH** get it done and you will feel immediate gratification!

Sunday Poem 😁

I will take action on the things I learned in therapy.

I will survive when I say a prayer for me.

I will exercise my writing to change the perception.

I will prove that laughter and crying will be the best medicine.

I will rejuvenate the forgiveness for myself to get out of my hole.

I will recycle my pain and achieve my goals.

I will begin a new journey.

I will survive and be true to me.

I will not dwell on my mistakes.

I will learn and turn my cows into steaks.

I will continue to grow.

I will not let myself hit that low, again.

I will remember the feeling of having to pretend, that everything is okay.

I will not worry about what others have to say.

I will keep spreading this positive message.

I will ensure others have the tools to make it through their wreckage.

I will ensure I have fulfilled my purpose.

I will lead people out of life's circus.

Next Blog Wednesday September 28th.

    Thank you everyone who has continued to show me love and support on this journey. I would love to take a moment to let you all know about the youtube channel I have just launched, Lifestyle Library. I will be posting to my channel every Saturday about tips and tricks, or things that I have learned to help me through life's journey. I love writing my blogs and continuing to make improvements on my content, I hope you were able to take some of the tips I shared in today's blog. I know that this topic has come up more than once, but it's a vital part of taking control of your life! I look forward to my next blog on Wednesday, until next time ✌😁