Sunday Fun Day!

My Creative Hobby!

    Today's blog is going to be all about how I feel when I write and suggestions of hobbies that may cause you to have the same feelings. When I write, whether it's for my blog, or my book I always find great joy from writing and expressing my feelings. There is something therapeutic about writing that makes me feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and gets the butterflies swimming in my stomach. When I become engulfed in a creative mindset everything just comes natural to me. I don't over think what I'm writing about, so you know the material I post about is genuine. Writing is my creative hobbies that helps me express my emotions in a healthy way my suggestion to you is to find a hobby that helps you express your feelings and utilizing it when you're your emotions become overwhelming.

Examples of Creative Hobbies!

    Creative hobbies are important because they help us feel like kids again. Whatever hobby you choose to do should be able to come effortlessly at some point. When your hobby doesn't require much thought it helps you create from your emotions. Creations that come from your emotions instead of overthinking have the tendency of being the most beautiful pieces of work. A few examples of creative hobbies include writing, poetry, song artists, painting, sculpting, and you could argue body building (sculpting the body). Find a hobby you love and let your creative spirit shine!

    Sunday Poem!

What is Heaven people ask. 

I believe heaven to be something that brings people peace.

There's no guarantee just like Keanu Reeves said.

The only thing that is certain is that the people that love us will miss us.

Boy is that true. Suffering a loss to someone that you're close to will break you down.

Life will beat you up and push you around if you let it.

But don't let it. 

You have to realize you decide your path.

You don't have control of the problem only your response to that problem is in your control.

So please do not fold. It's time to be bold.

You have to vision what you want your life to be and how you want to be remembered.

You have to stay centered. 

Like the apple that blossoms on the tree, remain connected.

You'll feel protected by the love given.

There are many things that are beautiful. 

Some will say what comes after life is much more fruitful.

Don't get too focused on what comes next.

Always remember to send what I love you text.

Life is too short to be wasting time worrying about what happens when you die.

I'll ask again what is heaven?

The answer doesn't matter if you live life enjoying every second.

Next Blog Wednesday October 12th.

    Thank you guys for reading todays blog! I always enjoy writing and sharing my poems with you all! I hope you all have a blessed and great day. I love each and everyone of you. Until next time ✌❤

It's Okay to Take a Break!

 Don't Forget to Breathe!

    We all have busy schedules, work, kids, family, friends, hobbies, and whatever else you want to add to this list. The one thing that we sometimes forget to do is take a break and rest our mind. I'm writing this blog to remind you that it's okay to take a day and sit in your house reading books, playing video games, or watching your favorite show. Rest is essential to having a healthy mindset especially if you have a busy schedule. When we forget to give ourselves a mental health day we start to fatigue a lot easier and the simple tasks become a lot harder to accomplish. If you feel this sounds like you then I recommend you take a step back and R E L A X (famous Aaron Rodgers quote.)

My Mental Health Days!

    My mental health days usually begin with a very long and very hot shower. After I get all cleaned up and dressed for the day I make a pot of coffee and read a little bit of a book, I love reading personal development books to help strengthen my mindset and it usually puts me in a great mood to start the day. After my morning coffee and a quick reading session I love watching a show on the couch with my golden doodle Gatsby. Gatsby is the type of dog that loves all of the attention, but what dog doesn't. He will throw his entire body on my chest suffocating me and blocking my view from any t.v. show that I wanted to watch, which is The Boys on amazon prime at the moment (great show I highly recommend it by the way, fair warning though it is very gory). Finally I love to play video games before I go to bed on my mental health days, I usually play Madden and Warzone, but I'm currently waiting for MW2 to be released in November. These mental health days give my brain a chance to reset and come back the next day more energized than ever!

Poem (cause I forgot to post on Sunday)

Success

All dreams will start small.

Some will fail and some will fall.

There is a key to success.

No, It's not to be better than the rest.

You have to be better today.

Than you were yesteday.

The competition is with yourself.

Not with anyone else.

Don't listen to outside noise.

Stay calm, keep your poise.

Some will tell you, you will fail.

Let them talk and continue to sail.

Chase those dreams.

Only you can change your theme.

Doubts will come.

Remind yourself you are not among the some.

You are different.

Leave them with your imprint.

Tell everyone your story.

Let them see your glory.

Teach people how you made it out.

Let the keyboards build your clout.

Success is not about things.

Next Blog Sunday October 9th

    Thank you guys for reading tonight's blog! I'm sorry that I was a day late on my upload my days have been blending together lately from being so busy. I am currently in the process of scheduling a day to go to the boys and girls club to speak about recycling your pain. I am so excited about this opportunity. I will make a blog post on how everything went after. Leave a comment and tell me what your ideal mental health day is. Again, I am so grateful for all of your love and support it keeps me motivated to continue to post about ways that could help take your life to the next level. Until Next time ✌❤

My Journey To Sobriety!

 My First Time Being Drunk

    

    In my first ever blog post I wrote about the grain bin accident I was involved in. The trauma I experienced at a young age was the same reason I started drinking at a young age. The first time I ever got drunk happened just a few months after the accident when I was only 14 years old. When I snuck out of my house that night I didn't realise that I was about to go drown the pain that I was hiding inside and by doing this it would result in an on and off again battle with alcohol for the next 12 years. Every chance I had, which weren't many at 14, I would drink as much as I could until I blacked out. I would do this every time I drank, because it was the only time I wouldn't have those negative thoughts creep in the back of my head, why did I survive, you don't deserve to be alive, I wish that killing myself would bring back those who died. If we all knew the consequences of our actions would we still make decisions that cause nothing but negative emotions? I wish I would have thought of my consequences prior to ever picking up my first drink it would have saved me from a lot of heartache.

I Cheated Death, but Still Chose Death.

    Let's fast forward past high school where all I did was quit every team I was on and ruin my chances for a scholarship to any possible college that was available. I want to start this part of the post where alcohol almost took my life and career away from me. After a year of bouncing between jobs after high school I chose to join the United States Air Force, still the greatest decision I have ever made for my future. I was only in the Air Force for 6 months when I encountered my first ever serious consequence from alcohol and my second encounter with death. My first duty station was Ramstein Germany, which at the time was perfect for me because you only had to be 18 to drink at the bars. I would go out every weekend to dorm parties and continue my routine of drinking until I blacked out. At this time those negative thoughts were buried so deep that I didn't think about them, but subconsciously they were very much alive. Most nights I went out and it ended with me crying and my friends having to chase me around the base so I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself until the night that I hurt myself. Now I don't remember much about this night the only thing that I can tell you for sure is I went to a night club with a bunch of people I didn't really know and had a BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) of .3 something, a BAC of .4 can put someone in a coma, or kill them. The only thing I remember is waking up in a military hospital 3 days later not knowing how I got there. That means I went to a german hospital and was transported to a military hospital 2 days later before I woke up. It turns out that I had fallen off a parking garage and landed face first on the pavement, suffering a fractured skull, and a shattered cheek bone. They had to do surgery to put a plate in my face so my bones could heal properly. Even through all this and being directed by my commander to go through an alcohol abuse program I still chose to drink after. My decision to continue drinking would keep leading me down dark paths keeping those demons in control of my life.

Second Time Through

    In 2017 I PCS'd from Germany and found my way to South Carolina. This is when I moved in with my now fiance and her son, they didn't know what they were signing up for, but I am very grateful that she had the patience to stay with me. Babe I love you thank you for everything. The person I was then is not who I wanted to be, I hated that version of myself. I would drink, again until I blacked out, then would cuss her out while her son was sleeping. We would fight almost every night that I drank, I know I would have left me too, but very grateful that she stuck around. After a few years of ups and downs in our relationship I thought I finally had my drinking under control. Turns out I had no power when it came to alcohol. A couple years later we would have our son, but I was still depressed and since I'm an expert at burying my emotions I wouldn't talk about my problems. Whenever I would get home I turned to the only thing that I thought was consistent in my life, yupp that's right alcohol. This would go on for months until I was tasked to deploy, when I deployed I made a promise to my fiance that I wouldn't drink again. I went 6 months without a drink on the deployment and another 3 months sober when I got back, until I was reunited with alcohol. That's right I broke 9 months of sobriety because I thought that I could "control it this time." This comes as a surprise to no one, but I was wrong again.

Final Round, Now I Fight!

    I went the next few years doing a good job controlling my drinking, I was drinking everyday, but at least I wasn't blacking out. This was until I lost my dad. Losing my dad hit me harder than I was prepared for, I went months trying to bury it until I went out with my coworkers and told all of them the plan I had to shoot myself. I never thought of shooting myself before, but subconsciously I think that was always the plan. Thankfully my coworkers made a plan to have someone drive me home and take my gun out of the house. As embarrassing as it was to have to be treated like a child, I am eternally grateful for my friends that were and are currently there for me when I need them. This is where we are today I just completed an in depth substance abuse program and am currently 42 days sober, until tomorrow where I'll be 43 days sober.

What's Different This time?

    The biggest difference this time around is I went to therapy to deal with my underlying issues that were causing me to drink. The demons that were causing all those negative emotions have finally been sent back to hell where they belong instead of living inside my mind. I no longer feel any cravings or experience any triggers to drink because I have learned to master my mindset. Most of my blogs stress the importance of becoming a master of your mind and my story is a prime example of how powerful the mind is. I owe all my progress to the Air Force, my friends, family, and therapists they hold me accountable and keep me motivated to be better today than I was yesterday. I also want to thank my therapists for helping me find my purpose in life. The purpose that I want to live out everyday is helping others I do this by writing my blogs, and creating videos on youtube. I feel so much warmth and love knowing that my word can help someone escape their demons.

Next Blog, Wednesday, October 5th

    Thank you to everyone that took the time to read my blog today, I appreciate each and everyone of you. Have you ever struggled with substance abuse? How did you beat it, or what are you doing to beat it? Leave me a comment if you found some type of inspiration in this blog. I always enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts with all of you. I love you all. Until Next time ✌❤